ADHD and Overplanning
Planning so much you can’t actually do the thing
I knew I had ADHD before I knew I had ADHD, mostly because moving out on my own felt like preparing to launch a Mars rover. Every grocery list was a spreadsheet. Every furniture choice had multiple backup options. I googled “how to move out” probably 73 times, cross-checked Reddit threads, then panic-called my mom for the third time that day. This, my friends, is the glamorous reality of overplanning with ADHD.
Why do we do this to ourselves?
It seems backward at first. ADHD is supposed to mean impulsive, right? Spontaneous. Fun. Not sitting in your room three nights in a row drafting worst-case scenarios about your new apartment’s plumbing situation.
But here’s the thing: ADHD brains hate uncertainty. And when we don’t trust ourselves to remember the details later (looking at you, Memory Problems with ADHD), we plan everything to death. I want to feel safe. I want to feel prepared. So I over-engineer my life until it’s bulletproof or until my brain short-circuits, whichever comes first.
Overplanning is perfectionism in disguise
This is where ADHD gets sneaky. We tell ourselves, “I’m just being responsible.” But really, it’s perfectionism whispering, “If you plan for every possible hiccup, maybe you won’t look foolish or mess up again.” Spoiler: there will always be hiccups.
So, instead of solving problems, overplanning just creates a new one: procrastination. I plan instead of doing. I plan so much that doing feels impossible because now my plan is so big and flawless in my head, reality could never live up to it. Ugh.
What helps me rein it in (sort of)
I’ve been learning (slowly) to stop letting my plan become a trap. Here’s what helps me:
- Good enough is good enough. If my plan covers 80% of likely scenarios, that’s fine. I can adjust later. Nobody is grading me.
- Time-box planning. I give myself 30 minutes to plan. When the timer goes off, that’s it. Action time, baby.
- Reality checks. If I catch myself stress-testing a grocery list, I ask: “What’s the worst that could happen if I just wing it a little?” Usually, nothing too dramatic.
I also found this piece on How to stop endless analysis super validating. Apparently, I’m not the only one making a PowerPoint about how to buy milk.
Final thought (because I will keep planning this post otherwise)
Overplanning feels safe. It feels like control. But life is messy and unpredictable, especially with ADHD. Sometimes, the bravest thing we can do is stop planning and just do the thing, even if we forget an item or mess up a bit.
If you’re reading this while stress-planning something right now, take a breath. You’ve probably got this covered already. And if not, you’ll figure it out when you get there. Promise.
Overplanners of the world, how do you rein it in? Tell me your secrets before I make another spreadsheet.