ADHD and Perfectionism: When “Not Good Enough” Stops You Before You Start
Perfectionism: A Secret Weapon… or a Trap?
ADHD and perfectionism are a weird combo. On one hand, perfectionism can push us to do incredible work—when the stars align and we’re locked in, it’s like everything clicks and we’re firing on all cylinders. But on the other hand, perfectionism is also what makes us freeze before we even begin. Or worse, abandon something amazing because it didn’t feel quite “right.”
Honestly? I’ve left some of my best ideas on the cutting room floor because of this. Not because they weren’t good—but because I couldn’t get them perfect on the first try. And with ADHD, that inner voice gets loud real fast. “Why even start if you’re just gonna mess it up?”
Where ADHD and Perfectionism Meet
The ADHD brain is constantly juggling ideas, energy spikes, emotional sensitivity, and self-doubt. So when perfectionism shows up, it’s like throwing gasoline on a fire. You want to do something amazing—but the fear of not getting it right creates this weird limbo where nothing gets done at all.
Sometimes it even shows up as fake laziness. Like, you look lazy from the outside, but really you’re just avoiding something because you’re scared you won’t nail it. And as I talked about in Why ADHD brains love starting, not finishing, we tend to be all-in on the excitement of a new project, but perfectionism makes us bail the second the fun gets messy.
The “Not Good Enough” Loop
That feeling of never being good enough? Yeah, it’s brutal. Especially when you’ve grown up hearing that you “have so much potential” but can’t seem to keep up with what’s expected. That pressure compounds, and suddenly perfectionism isn’t just about doing something well—it’s about proving you’re not a failure.
I found this article on Not being good enough with ADHD really helpful. It breaks down how perfectionism, anxiety, and ADHD feed into each other and how it’s not just about high standards—it’s about fear. Fear of judgment, fear of not meeting expectations, fear of letting yourself down.
Using Perfectionism for Good (Without Letting It Run the Show)
So, how do you keep perfectionism from becoming your downfall? Here’s what’s helped me:
- Set a low entry bar: Start ugly. Let your first draft be a mess. Just getting started is a win.
- Break the project into dopamine bites: Smaller wins = more chances for your brain to feel good and stay engaged.
- Talk to your inner critic like it’s a whiny roommate: You can hear it, but you don’t have to take its advice.
- Make peace with “done is better than perfect”: Yeah, it’s a cliché—but it’s also the thing that’s kept me moving forward.
Your Work Doesn’t Need to Be Perfect to Be Valuable
Sometimes the best thing you can do is let the imperfect version of your work exist in the world. Because “perfect” is usually just an excuse your fear uses to keep you from taking a risk. And if ADHD already makes finishing hard, perfectionism only adds another layer of friction.
You’re allowed to finish something and be proud of it—even if it’s not flawless. You’re allowed to start messy. You’re allowed to keep going. And you’re definitely allowed to be imperfect and still be worth celebrating.