ADHD and Self-Worth: You're Not Broken, You're Wired Differently
The Quiet Battle Inside
Some days I feel like I’m on top of things. Other days, I spiral into a mental pit wondering if anything I’m doing even matters. And that rollercoaster? That’s kind of the norm when you’ve got ADHD. It’s not just forgetfulness or distraction—it’s this constant, subtle questioning of your value, your effort, your place in the world.
That’s why I wanted to write this post. Because if you’re like me, you’ve probably wondered whether your brain is somehow broken. Like maybe you missed the instruction manual everyone else got. But let me say this up front: your brain is not broken. You’re not lazy. You’re not failing. You’re just working with a brain that’s been misunderstood for way too long.
ADHD and the Validation Void
ADHD doesn’t just make it hard to focus—it makes it hard to feel enough. We live in a world that rewards people who can sit still, follow routines, stay organized, and “just try harder.” So if your brain doesn’t naturally work that way? You’re constantly being told you’re wrong, or that you’re not trying hard enough.
It’s no wonder that self-worth can take a hit. Especially when we deal with things like Why We’re Sensitive to Rejection. That rejection sensitivity can make even small critiques feel massive. One offhand comment from a friend or coworker can replay in your head for days. It sucks—but it’s real.
What If Your Brain’s Way of Doing Things Is Valid?
This is something I’ve been sitting with: what if we stopped judging our ADHD brains by neurotypical standards? Like, what if your way of doing things is just... valid? Maybe you work in bursts. Maybe you hyperfocus. Maybe you zone out. Maybe your room is a mess but your mind is a galaxy of ideas. That doesn’t make you broken—it makes you you.
I found this article on ADHD and Self-Esteem helpful when I was trying to unpack this more. It’s a good reminder that ADHD challenges can seriously affect how we see ourselves—and that healing starts with understanding, not judgment.
Practicing Self-Validation (Even When It Feels Awkward)
This part isn’t easy. I’ll be honest—I still catch myself falling into self-doubt spirals. But I’m learning to check in with myself. To ask:
- Am I judging myself based on someone else’s blueprint?
- Would I talk to a friend the way I talk to myself?
- Is my ADHD brain really the problem, or is it just different?
Even just asking those questions helps. It opens up a little space for grace. For softness. And that space matters more than you think.
Your Worth Was Never in Question
So here’s your reminder: you’re not broken. Your ADHD doesn’t make you less. It doesn’t cancel out your worth, your creativity, your heart, or your effort. You’re doing your best with a brain that plays by different rules—and that’s something to be proud of.
Let yourself feel that. Even just for a second today. You deserve to.