ADHD and Memory Problems
The grocery store incident (again)
So you walk into the store. You had one job—bread. You even said it out loud like three times on the way there: “Bread, bread, bread.” But somehow, fifteen minutes later, you're holding a bag of Doritos, a can of Sprite, and the haunting sense that you forgot something. Spoiler: you did.
This is ADHD memory in a nutshell. And the wild part? You could probably give a TED Talk on the exact frame in “Shrek the Halls” where Shrek’s toes are slightly less green than usual. The niche stuff sticks. But the essentials? Gone. Vanished. Poof.
What even is ADHD memory?
Let’s clear something up first: it’s not that we don’t have memory. It’s that our memory works differently. More like... inconsistent Wi-Fi. Sometimes lightning fast, sometimes completely unavailable, and sometimes buffering on a completely unrelated tab.
This is tied to what’s called working memory, and if yours feels like it got booted off the team early, you’re not alone. People with ADHD often have a hard time holding information in their mind for short periods—especially when we’re distracted, interrupted, or multitasking (so, like, always).
There’s a more medical breakdown of what’s going on under the hood if you want to get into the science-y details. But let’s keep it real for now.
When your brain keeps tabs on everything... except what matters
Here’s the weirdest part: ADHD memory isn’t just forgetful. It’s selective. You can remember an entire rant someone gave you in 2016, the exact smell of your third grade classroom, or that one moment a stranger laughed at your joke and it made your whole month. But birthdays? Appointments? Your own lunch? No clue.
Sometimes it’s because your brain doesn’t register the importance of a task unless it’s emotionally charged or immediately stimulating. And sometimes, it’s because your mind is already juggling 50 other tabs and your RAM is full.
The role of distraction and burnout
Distraction is a memory killer. It’s like trying to pour water into a cup that keeps teleporting to a new table. You start one task, get pulled into another, and forget why you started in the first place. Eventually, you feel fried—like your brain is done for the day before you’ve even had lunch.
This is also where task switching burnout comes in. The constant shifting between thoughts, tasks, and mental tabs takes a toll. It’s not just memory loss—it’s cognitive overload. No wonder things slip through the cracks.
How to work with your memory, not against it
There’s no one-size-fits-all fix, but here are a few things that help me (when I actually remember to do them):
- Write it down. Immediately. Don’t trust your brain to hold onto things. Notes app, sticky notes, back of your hand—whatever works.
- Visual cues everywhere. If it’s out of sight, it’s out of mind. Put stuff where you’ll literally trip over it if needed.
- Say it out loud. It helps solidify the thing in your brain. Bonus points if someone else hears you and can remind you later.
- Use timers and alarms. Like, a lot of them. Label them too. “Pick up laundry” is more helpful than just “Alarm 4.”
- Accept the weirdness of it. You’re not broken. Your brain’s just got a different operating system. And like any OS, it needs a few custom tweaks.
Remembering that forgetting doesn’t make you less
The hardest part of ADHD memory struggles isn’t the forgetting—it’s the way we internalize it. The shame. The self-talk. That little voice that says, “Why can’t you just get it together?”
You’re not lazy. You’re not careless. You just have a brain that sorts things differently. And while that comes with its challenges, it also means you probably remember the things that truly matter in the most beautiful, strange, deeply personal ways.
Even if you forget the bread. Again.